imeddyeddy

You had me, you had me
But your heart's cold
And your eyes never watching,
ne'er caring, ne'er seeking any other than yourself

You had me, you had me
But you lied
cheated
decieved

And now I'm gone.

 Friend helped me see the light, and now I'm free of the bitch. Whoohoo!

Something that's sure to offend EVERYONE!

Alright seriously, it's just a joke but it's still pretty goddamn funny.

<3 Leo the most though, I gotta say.

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It's probably a bad thing that certain songs and lyrics are standing out to me. Wait no, not even standing out, jumping out at me and screaming my name.

No it Isn't - +44

Please understand
This isn’t just goodbye
This is I can’t stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean,
It rises all around me and now we're barely breathing
A thousand faces we'll choose to ignore

Curse my enemies forever
Let’s slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy

I listen to you cry
I cry for less attention
But both my hands are tied
And I’m pushed into the deep end

I listen to you talk
But talk is cheap
And my mouth is filled with blood
From trying not to speak

So search for an excuse
And someone to believe you
In foreign dressing rooms
I’m empty with the need to

Curse my enemies forever
Let’s slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy
Please understand

I lay rotting where I fall. I'm dead from bad intentions
Suffocated and enbalmed, and now all our dreams are chashed in
You swore you wouldn't lose, then lost your brain
You make a sound that feels like pain


So please understand
This isn’t just goodbye
This is I can’t stand you

I hope you know: Now you're just another blip, just another stain, just another bad memory.

Eden

            Many have tried to postulate the purpose for human existence. Servitude to the balance of good and evil, servitude to God, to aid, to prosper, to create, to destroy, to work, to lounge, to squander and waste, to manufacture and provide. Millions have postulated the purpose of human existence. Millions have sought.

 

            We, however, have found.

 

The nature of every country and society is to thrive. The nature of every individual, be it human, animal or otherwise, has been to look after the self before all else for a singular, common denomination – to thrive, prosper, grow. To live, to improve. To one day achieve Nirvana.

 

The Nirvana of Perfection.

The dreaded damned curse of Perfection.

 

The year is 4015 AD. We live in a nation with solutions for unfound problems. We have solved shortage. We have solved illness. We have solved death, poverty, immorality. Where men of old dreamed of the fountain of youth, we have supplied its waters. Economists are creatures of history – for what need is there for the planning of resource allocation when the scourge of shortage has been obliterated? Everyone is equal, everyone the same. Communism? No. Perfection.

 

Damned perfection.

 

We fear nothing, except the fear of nothing to fear. People used to write about Frankenstein, but the first successful “Frankensteinasion” took place about a thousand years ago. And even now, the concept of resurrection is all but lost on a society where immortality is assured at birth. Where even birth is assured. Genetic selection is a standard process. The limits of human evolution and mutation have been tried, tested, calculated, recalculated, broken, redefined, only to be broken again. We have toiled hard to reach the forefronts, the very limits of human evolution and growth, and then torn and blasted it to smithereens in a mere four hundred years. Children are guaranteed perfection upon birth. No amount of further growth is needed – no need for study, or exercise, or toil or strain.

 

No need.

 

We are born to in age where everything is permitted. Everything is certain. There is no need for toil and trouble. We are born in an age where our only purpose is to live.

 

Live and never die.

 

Where our only purpose is to enjoy. To lounge. To squander and waste. Nothing is to be accomplished, because everything already has.

 

We fear nothing. We have forsaken God, for god exists only in our dreams and flashbacks of millennia past. It has been proven – god is a lie. A farce, nothing but a tool to control the superstitious masses. We have looked death in the eye and spat in its face. We have died and been reborn, all under perfect laboratory conditions. We have stared into the void, and have seen nothing to return the gaze.

 

We hear of a time ages past, of a mythical land of Eden. The fabled biblical Garden of Eden. Where everything was provided. Where Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge and were banished for their Original Sin. Men have dreamed of the return to Eden. We have created it. The Empire of Eden…

 

The time has come. In another fifteen minutes, the time will come. Strange that fifteen minutes now would seem an eternity, when a billion billion humans have lived over countless galaxies for a thousand years.

In another fifteen minutes humans will once again be banished from Eden. We have once again eaten the Forbidden Fruit, and will suffer for our sin. Only this time, it is not God’s hand that will lay retribution upon us. It is knowledge. Knowledge of perfection. Attainment of perfection.

 

 

The foolish might tell you that the purpose of human existence is to thrive, prosper, grow, live and improve. To reach for the unattainable perfection. But the wise, having attained Nirvana, would tell you what is missed by the fool.

 

Humans live – to die.

 

Our fifteen minutes are almost over. Humanity’s Sacred Writ. My requiem to us all.

 

We seek death with open arms. And rejoice for this blessing.

 

We have lived, and now, we die. And for this, we give thanks.

 

To death.

To blessed, sacred death.

To death.

 

Touching song. 'Nuff said.


And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die? So whos gonna watch you die

I got my love back! Hahahahahaha!

STICKING TONGUE OUT AS A GREETING CAME BEFORE TONGUE PIERCING.
TONGUE PIERCING CAME AFTER STICKING TONGUE OUT AS A GREETING.

TONGUE PIERCING WAS OBTAINED BECAUSE I HAD THE HABIT OF STICKING TONGUE OUT IN PICTURES AND WHEN GREETING PEOPLE. WHICH LED A FRIEND TO SUGGEST I GET ONE. SO I DID.

I'M NOT STICKING OUT MY TONGUE EVERYTIME I SEE YOU TO SHOW OFF TONGUE PIERCING. I STICK MY TONGUE IT CAUSE IT'S MY FUCKING HABIT.

HOLY FRICKING HELL DUDES.

All I wanna do is
And a, take your monnayy

Paper Planes, by M.I.A., from the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack!


I could try to be funny in this post, but I'm not in the mood for funny. I'm in the mood for retrospective and THEREFORE boring inna way. Whatever.


I'm sad today.
But not the kind of sad that screams "oh my shit I'm emo someone save me, I'm gonna break down and crai my heart out and slit my neck because nobody loves me blah blah blah" kind of sad.

It's the kind of sad where you feel this sort of.. weight inside you but you don't really know if it's good or bad. Y'know, that kind where you don't really need a reason to do anything, or you don't really want to do anything, because all you want to do is just sit down and think, and look back on everything that's happened and everything you've done and achieved and everything you've chosen and how much you've changed.

And wow. That's really the one word that sums up everything.

Wow.

I just woke up with a hangover after throwing one of the most epic parties I've ever had. Not cause there was loud epic music and fun activities or shit like that, epic because I had all my friends there. The one day I was surrounded by everyone I loved and I knew loved me. It's one of the best feelings when you can do whatever the heck you want and you know you won't be judged or weighed or whatever. And today it's over. It's like that feeling you get when you've just experienced nirvana and now you're down back to earth, but.. I dunno, it's not really sorrow or sadness or the like.

I'm living in a house with my dad, and everywhere I look I see this certain radiating glow. (I mean, except for the construction site because like zrsrsly you can't make sand and dust and rocks glow) It's been epic weightlifting, I mean, I just go home and I'm happy. I'm immediately happy. Because there isn't any tension, there isn't any waiting for the next thing to blow, there isn't anything. It's nice and peaceful and and you know!

Y'know I used to think I'd never really achieve anything in life. I'd just be some laid black slacker shit who'd watch the world fly by while I sit there just stoning into space waiting for life to pass. But wow now that I think about it.. I've actually DONE stuff. I actually did weird shit that I never thought I'd do, gotten awards I thought I'd never deserved. I'm actually not as pathetic as I used to think I was D: Wao.

And I never thought I'd ever EVER go to a party. I mean sheesh, look at me. I'm a social misfit. LIKE SRZLY. Sec 1, how many people could I call friends? Sheeeeesh to go through a YEAR and not even know the CLASS. That's just epic. And to not even dare to talk to people in public, to walk around shuffling my feet and staring at the ground. It's fun looking back at who you were and wondering why you didn't choose to be who you are now. It's really... Breath-taking.

And you know what? I'm going to stay that way this time. No more counting the number of reasons why I should be sad. I mean heck, why even bother?

Hmm. I guess I'm not really sad. But I'm not happy either. What am I then?


Content. That's the word. Content.

[Save for the girlfriendless part =P but ohwell! With my weirdness and shit. Mm. QUE SERA SERA!]

Taken from a friend's blog:

There are 3 kinds of people in the world.

The first type never gets up after they fall over.
The second gets up and continues, more cautious.
The third smiles, then gets up and continues running like nothing ever happened.

I'm gonna be the third. Just you wait and see world, just you wait and see.